As children, when we committed an untoward act or hurt another’s feelings, we were most often instructed to proclaim immediate remorse regardless of the merits of the disagreement. The offender and the offended would mutter the forced apology knowing even at their tender ages that the words were oftentimes disingenuous. Well certainly there are two perspectives displayed here. On one hand adults are using the offense as a teachable moment: to guide little ones into being mindful of the Golden Rule, to be more considerate of other’s feelings, and to act responsibly. In contrast the counter point of view from the mind of a child is that a personal boundary was crossed. The transgression sparked discomfort, unease, or anger, and–wham! Instant consequence was metered. And here we are: What does God say about forgiveness?

To properly set the room, I gathered a little data from the internet. Dictionary.cambridge.org details the following synonyms for the word forgiveness: “..[to] excuse, pardon, allow for, pass over, overlook, discharge, release…” This very same site lists a few antonyms of what forgiveness is not:  “…[to] blame, condemn, censure, charge…” Additionally the American Psychological Association (APA) describes forgiveness “…[as] willfully putting aside feelings of resentment toward someone who has committed a wrong, been unfair, or otherwise caused harm. Forgiveness is not merely accepting what happened or ceasing to be angry.” I dare to state that no one will balk at this factual data, and this is also an apropos moment to inject the Word of God which states in…

Ephesians 4:32 ESV says:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

God’s Word is clear, it shall never come back void (Isaiah 55:11), and it is to our tremendous benefit to study to show ourselves approved (2 Timothy 2:15). So how should we exercise forgiveness as God has clearly instructed?

I have heard it said that “Forgiveness frees the prisoner!” This concept seems illogical ‘to pardon, to overlook, or to release’ the one who has caused harm or distress without the injured party appearing to have received some form of recompense. A mournful soul cries out to be acknowledged, to receive a healing balm, and to be potentially understood without judgement. We must at the very least acknowledge that the adverse effects and scars of an enacted offense or betrayal remain irrevocably imprinted on our wounded psyche, perhaps physical bodies, and possibly battered hearts. After all wounds leave scars, and time spent can never be recovered. Yet, as my mother’s eldest sister was keen on saying: “You can’t unring a bell.”  Through my journey in this world, I endeavor to add: But for Jesus!…

Psalms 34: 6-8 ESV says,

“This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.

 The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

Mark 11: 25 ESV states,

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

1 John 1: 9 ESV informs,

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Matthew 6: 15 ESV warns,

“But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

As the Holy Spirit teaches, corrects, loves, and protects us who are in relationship, my worldly construct of forgiveness was shaken from its foundation by the Word of God! I have certainly and unwisely nurtured grievances in my life through a worldly lens. A secular perspective advises us to conduct an autopsy on the injustice, to call in a special forum of close friends and family to extrapolate every detail under a microscope, and to place a death grip on the offense as if it were a life vest while being thrown around on turbulent seas. Unwittingly this approach fuels its power to saturate one’s senses, and breathes an unhealthy life into the matter, therefore attaching itself deeply within the seat of our souls to suppress our minds, our will, and our emotions.

Fellow believers, I pray your faith and resilience in God! Look to this verse of hope and authority in Christ:

2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV encourages,

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ…”

In my humble evaluation, healthy and radical forgiveness involves the following daily behaviors and mercifully ‘frees the prisoner:’

1. Release the desire for revenge for it is not our right, but God’s
   • According to Romans 12:19 KJV: “Do not seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for the wrath. For it is written, “Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.”  
2. Let go of self-righteous judgement, as we have all sinned and fallen short of God’s glory
3. Set aside infectious grudges which drag on our spirit man and distract us from God’s calling on our lives
4. Refrain from idle gossip and character assassinations as these behaviors are not pleasing in God’s sight
5. Destroy the impotent idols of our pain and the details of the situation as it only perpetuates grief
6. Welcome the act and degrees of forgiveness as an intentional process which cannot be rushed
7. Embrace the Nine Fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5: 22-23
8. Remember that each of us is also a child of the One True Living God!

TASTE AND SEE

Ponder the aforementioned scriptures. Please do not rush this process! After all, you did not arrive here overnight. Be patient and kind with yourself. Discuss with a trusted friend or mentor to delve deeper.

1. What questions are answered for you? 
2. What additional concerns bubble up within you?
3. What affirmations can you apply now? 
4. Which stated directives can be actively implemented in your life at this very moment?
5. Does forgiveness equate to reconciliation?
6. Is there someone whom you may owe an apology?
7. Will you permit God to be your Way Maker and Burden Bearer today?

I leave you with  2 Corinthians 13:14 ESV: “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Ghost, be with you all! Amen.”

Tammy Boone Williams,

12/08/24